Absolutely Maybe
by alien09
Summary: Rachel, Puck and a carnival. Spoilers for 'Mash Up'. One-shot for MakeItHappen01. R&R.


Rachel had never been to a carnival. Picking at the candy floss Mercedes had all but thrust into her hands, she wondered what the big attraction was. Lights strobed and blinkered on and off, painting patchworks of light over the crowd that had gathered to share in the festivities. At least, that's how Miss Pillsbury had put it.

In the line for the ferris wheel, she saw Finn put his arm around his girlfriend. Quinn's head instinctively found the nook between his shoulder and collarbone, making Rachel's heart squeeze.

_He's never going to leave Quinn. Not with that baby in her belly._

Rachel wanted to laugh out loud, hearing Puck's snide voice reverberate around her head with all the subtlety of a bullet. Viciously tearing off a large chunk of floss, Rachel popped it into her mouth and felt the candy melt on her tongue.

It was hard to believe that her first boyfriend had been Noah Puckerman, the same boy who had seemingly made it his life's goal to make her high school life a living hell. But the day he had handed her the grape slushie and looked down at her, hands in his pockets, she thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be alright. They had held hands, Puck letting her hang off his arm. She wasn't sure if he listened half the time she spoke, but then he would add in a comment halfway as if to disprove her assumptions. Rachel felt her cheeks heat thinking how they had rolled around in her bed, lips and hands all over each other.

And she had broken up with him for him.

_You were going to break up with me anyway._

_No I wasn't._

It didn't take a wild guess to know that Puck had feelings for Quinn. Like she had said on the bleachers, Rachel had noticed him watch the petite blonde during rehearsal, casting her surreptitious glances and clenching his fists whenever Finn was near her. Being somewhat well-schooled in unrequited love, she had latched on to Puck's unexpected interest to show Finn that even if he didn't quite realize it yet, there were other boys more than happy to openly express their desire for her.

But she was Claire Standish (well, admittedly Rachel was neither rich or popular like Molly Ringwald but the principal still stood) and Puck had been John Bender with decidedly less hair. Their relationship had been Saturday detention and had lasted as long. On that single, out-of-the-ordinary day Rachel had been able to convince herself that they could work. But then the teacher had dismissed them back into the real world and high school didn't seem so forgiving.

_What a pair._

'Berry.'

Shocked Rachel looked to the side and saw Puck in his letterman jacket, rocking back slightly on his heels. He had been avoiding her since the break up, going out of his way at Glee to ensure that he wasn't within a few feet of her unless absolutely necessary. It had hurt but Rachel had reminded herself that she had done the right thing. It wasn't fair to either of them to pretend to be something when they desired someone else. She recalled the feeling of disgust that had roiled her stomach when she had glanced down and saw Finn instead of Puck.

'Hello Noah,' she greeted him cautiously, scanning the area around him to see if there was anyone else lurking around, waiting for some kind of signal. Puck had been sweet when they were together but Rachel had seen his ugly side too.

'Relax. I come in peace,' he said, climbing onto the bench and seating himself next to her. An awkward silence descended between the pair of them. Rachel didn't know what to say so chose to remain silent.

Puck glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, shuffling his feet in the dirt. The light played off her hair like a halo and lingered between the dips and whorls of her face. Puck could remember how her lips tasted like, the way her hair had felt between his fingers.

Hooking up with Rachel Berry had been the single most fucked up idea he had ever had. Yeah alright his Mum getting all teary-eyed during Schindler's List might have been a factor, but there had been plenty of other Jewish girls to choose from in Lima (okay maybe not that many considering the rather paltry size of the community). He had had to go after the one girl who was just as fixated on Finn Hudson as Quinn.

_Saint fucking Finn wins the day without even trying. Again._

She had talked about the both of them living a fantasy, about wanting things too much. Then he had promptly and royally dumped him. Puck didn't get ditched by crazy, obsessive Gleeks. He had cougars blowing up his damn phone, as well as a whole squad of Cheerios just begging for him to lay one on them.

'Still pining over Finn?' The words came out harsh, Puck following his line of sight. He turned away seeing Quinn giggle and place a kiss on Finn's cheek. The heavy sigh Rachel heaved out made him angle his face towards her.

'I have come to the conclusion that since Finn is always looking over his shoulder, then he doesn't want to be with me.' She said it so softly that the sounds of the merry-go-round nearby almost drowned her out.

'Regretting letting a prize stud like me go?'

The fingers around the cone of her candy floss tightened ever so minutely that if you hadn't spent the last few weeks noticing her every move, you would have missed it entirely.

'For what its worth, I think you were a good boyfriend. Not that I have much experience,' the self-deprecating tone that filled her voice made Puck pause. 'I know in the end you wanted Quinn, but when you were with me…well, it felt nice to be wanted by someone. I suppose you think that's pathetic.'

Puck remembered feeling Rachel on his arm, telling him how proud she was of him for doing the solo. No one had ever told him that before and it had made him see her in a different light. Suddenly she wasn't Rachel Berry but _Rachel Berry_, a normal girl who was smiling up at her boyfriend because he had done something incredibly nice for her and she appreciated it.

So he had to admit that she had been a small part of why he had picked Glee over football. Walking in and seeing that same adoring expression she usually reserved for Finn plastered all over his face, he thought that being slushied wouldn't be so bad if it made Rachel smile at him that way.

'No,' he finally said, resigned. 'I don't think you're pathetic. Crazy maybe, but not pathetic.' After all, calling her that would be slightly hypocritical considering how he felt for Quinn. Or thought he felt, Puck reflected, looking at the petite girl beside him.

_Finn's always going to be looking over his shoulder when he's with me, pretending. But Puck…Puck was more honest with me than Finn ever was. _The idea rattled Rachel, her fingers growing loose and the candy floss almost falling to the floor.

She regarded Puck with new eyes. Spotting Mercedes waving at her in the distance, Rachel got to her feet. Looking down at Puck, she struggled before finally giving in to the impulse.

Her lips were against his cheek and the burning, fiery sensation they left in their wake was a familiar, painful reminder.

'Maybe when things are different,' she breathed before walking away. Puck sat there, his fingers rubbing his scratchy cheek as Rachel disappeared into the crowd.

_Yeah, maybe._


End file.
